am feeling very nervous right now?
and i know why.
but i juz feel very edgy.... dat's it.
nothing to do with me r/s so dat's not so bad...
well... sano shld noe... but nvm haha...

wanted to start of the entry with a "BLARDI HELL!...........bla bla"
but guess i cooled dwn..
cos i came home earlier than i usually would?
about 10pm i was already home
and i took a bus 197, frm bugis to home and
as i was alighting, this stupid bitch
i'm not sure how old she is..
most prob juz a couple of years older than me?
yeah i was walkin infrnt of her and dwn the flight of steps to alight the bus
and woman got no eyes lor!
she stepped on the back of my slipper twice.
once on each leg somemore
and then as i stumble n trip and got myself standing properly,
she ended it off with another painful step on my left pinkie.
fucking pain k!
bitch!
smile and say sorry and walked away so fast.
at least like be worried and see if i'm ok?
cb...
i was standing there yelping lor... kaoz!

well although me n fred patched,
and he messaged me in the morning on msn,
we weren't supposed to meet till tuesday.
like.... time off to adjust.
but end up during my class halfway he smsed me and say he wanna come find me at bugis.
how to say... hm.... i enjoyed class today? and time passed real quickly.
soon, n two hours were gone.
i chatted quite abit with my classmate....
when i met up with wilfred after class..
i was alittle more not say shy..
juz at loss on wad i shld do?
and he say i behave as if we're on a first date.
well, dat didn't last very long anyway.
we..... talked alot todae.
and mebbe cos my temper was not in the way anymore?
i talked like a guy once in awhile and....
it's like a brand new feeling
that i seriously enjoyed alot.
it's one of the best days i've spent with wilfred.
it's like a .... not extremely adrenaline filled happy day
but more like a very contented kinda day?
i'm juz grateful that he realised some stuff and
i duno... it's kinda farnie seeing him luv sick abt me again
has been ages since something like this.
am glad things didn't turn sour and this be another case of prolonged tragedy.
improvements are shown and.. i am treasuring every moment of it.
wilfred and i talked alot
and he was commenting no wonder girls find guys very despicable
cos he himself can't understand why guys can't juz be totally faithful
why guys so easily tempted
hahah

i said things i would never imagine myself saying before...
talking and thinking in a way as if i've grown a couple of years older
i've seen more truth this time round?
and... i told him i can't forgive him for having me gone thro all the pain
cos of his rash decision
and he said it's onli right to not forgive him.
haha
ask me slap him somemore siao one.

oh well. things r over n.... i juz still need abit of time to adjust.
hope i can reallie fulfil the changes i promise to make.
am determinded this time
and he is surprised at my determination.

stupid blogger wun show my recent postings properly....
like lagging update lidat on the webbie...
everytime i make changes to template it lidat...
grr
okok

wad i wanna say
is sorry......
for the worries i hav created.
at first... though it's solved i wanted to juz dun say
but i guess i owe it to ppl who worried abt me....
so i'll juz briefly explain.

wad i've been going through
has been the worse of my life
but am glad to say it's over.
and the result is gd news.

there has been a problem in my relationship
and i won't mention names here cos it's a sensitive issue
except the many thanks to ppl who have been giving me alot of support

the person i wanna thank the most.
is sano.
thank u so damn much... for being there.
and i'm here for u too.
u're a great friend.

then iman. thanks too. n u noe why. :)
luv u lots.

i know he won't be seeing this but nvm, jeremy.
he is the one who can make me hav no more anxiety pangs...
sadness pangs..
able to hav me laugh
smile
and even joke
cos of the way he talk
the candid voice and drama queen style..

and..... patricia to be there to offer some past-experience and advice,
tanya for being sucha a gd old friend... who is willing to sit on wilfred if he hurts me...
though wad she said others hav said... i find it easier to accept...
cos it's the way she say it.. nvm. old friends r the best.

shaikha... to be there to listen although it's already settled.
and sharing her story with mine.
fukai kor to be there on the phone with me,
hong me like small ger on msn. afterall he is my kor kor hee.

coolie and aiko supporting me though i didn't straightaway tell them wad happened
cos it hurts to explain...
and twit, fred said he told u abt the frustrations he hav abt me..
and that he talked to ur abt our prob now...
ur bubbliness still cheered me up although i tot u didn't know and didn't tell u..

terry wun be seeing this.. this is wil's best fren btw,
i thank him for saying something i find unexpected
but speaking up for me
sayin that fred shld return to me cos i'm impt to him

friends juz pop up suddenly when u nid alot of support n help.
i thank all of them.
and am glad i had ppl going thro all these with me

now to the topic
sorry i took so long
basically
we nearly broke up
cos of his temptation to a girl,
and further aggravation due to my bad temper causing more frustration
and his rash character wanted a break up
end up we all say cool off a week to make decisions.
alot of thing happened
and i had fever n such...
basically slept only one and a half hour on wednesday..
suffered some nervous breakdwn... stuff lidat
and... cried alot
talked alot
explained alot
feared a hell lot

and... basically,
we patched up.
changes r made, more truth r told
lies will not exist hopefully
i believe in us still
and our communication
and he is starting to b luv sick abt me
but i guess it's gd if we still dun meet up
until tuesday

take time to adjust to the new start
and cool dwn in the meanwhile cos of so mani things dat happened.
yeah
dats abt all i can say
if u wanna noe more,
can call me
or msg me.

juz to let u guys know,
everythings fine n under control.

thanks for the concern.

how am i to describe what i feel now? i'm at loss for words....
strange chest feelings
fear perhaps
constant worry
missing someone...
in love with someone...

anxiety
jittery?
wanting to clench the fist tightly to relief the strange chest feeling

remedy?
him.

hey guys...
am sorry for not blogging for a few days...
juz find that my mind is like a whirlpool right now...
i dun wanna cause panic or undue stress so i am not mentioning wad happened.

i juz hold on the the hope i have for me to pass this.

things will work out for the better.

because it is painful to recall and explain what have happened...
i hope u guys understand n be patient with me.

things have happened so much for the past 3 days...
a turning pt in my life.
now... all i want, is to be calm, have control over myself, and my love with me.

u guys can feel free to sms me if u wanna... but i guess i will wun be blogging much for a few more days..
perhaps will nxt week..

so i'll end of here now.
c u guys.

am not well. will not blog for days..

WENT SPLASH SPLASH TODAE!
hehehehe sho tired.. wore my new swimsuit and PEEEEEEEL PEEEEEL all dead skins nyahaha *evil me* and now me shoulder n back has no more ugly dead skins wahaha onli bad thing is that it itches still.. *RARGH*

todae felt as it we did so much.. duno why hahah
a few hours of splashing in the water alwayz feel as if it has been sucha long time spent inside. Sano n wilfred was with me in the pool and the water was freakin cold!! i wore my new swimsuit and when i juz got into the water there was this two caucasian ppl. one is the mother and the other is a little girl wearing these cute little yellow boots n pink shower cloak and she was really cute i tell u... she was point to wilfred saying "tattoo! tattoo!" and the mum asked if that sign on fred's arm was a tattoo.. when fred told her it is, the little girl seemed very interested and ask cute questions like "will it come off?" in this very cute voice.. i reckon she's onli about 3 or 4 years old.. and then she pulled her lil sleeve saying "i want one here!" and point at her hand hahaha her voice reallie cute and fred was tellin the mum that mebbe she'll get one and the mum jokingly said "i hope not so soon! haha"

funny ppl hee but the gerger v cute..

then we went splash splash in the water where i hav this new thing call the maomao splash wahahah where i sneak up to wilfred and do multiple splashes to his face while pawing the water... then we saw this uncle who like a log float ard the pool with his hands 'propelling' the water.... very ridiculous... he nearly bang into me and wilfred.... sano tried imitating him hahaha very farnie... then there was this japanese boi whose i duno.. mebbe dad or something.. then the boiboi very fit sial i see him swim back n forth duno how mani laps and he very young onli neh.. then when he finally finish i heard the uncle tell another japanese woman "kyou... ni jyuuni kai narimashita.. hayaku kaeri neteimasu..." (todae... done twenty two laps... faster go home slp...)

then fred koala (carry in water) me ard cos i no stamina liao hahaha...
we went to the kids pool and sat in btwn the fountain wah the water make my eye so pain but very fun cos all the water splash splash come dwn.... then very fun... when we finish playing we went back upstair to wilfred's hse to bathe... while we were at the lift terry called up and say he was at queensway buying the watever soccer boots.. new one.. $200++ then i think he ask fred to go over or something....

i duno wad to say abt dat fella lah... it's like such stuff r not a NEED but some stupid want n everytime something new comes up he treat it like as if dun buy will die lidat... waste money.... next time go out work i see how he die.

when me, sano n fred finally finished bathing, we took off to go queensway while sano decided not to follow us and went home himself.

while at queensway (we took a bus there), we went up to mac to find terry and i'm rather surprised to see others ard cos i was like expecting him to hav onli abt one fren along but end up there was another three more fella there..... one was terry's neighbour and two were fred's ex-classmate. then terry's neighbour's name is Ben and he is already in army and is also in Civil Defence of which wilfred will be going. Ben is in it for 7 months and was tellin fred abt wad to expect, wad to bring and what rules to NOT break... basically advices.. and the way he talk is like of such great contrast to terry.. well afterall he is already 21 although he dun look like it... he talks smart and sensible. hm. ok then fred was takin note of wad he say n stuff while i kept quiet throughout and observed + listen. deep dwn i noe both of us is like gettin info overload and paranoia is catching up n all but, we'll do fine. *smiles* we'll get through this.

*keeps quiet*

OK LAH i admit i'm paranoid still grr..


i reallie hope things goes well... haiz haiz.. how to get used to wilfred-less days man... since the day we started our r/s i haven't not hear frm him even a single day now one shot cannot hear frm him 3 weeks can die sia...

my eyes is abit tired and i'm sick of waiting for fred to call me while terry's hogging onto the phone with him.

muh eyes r now v tired cos of the chlroine that got into my eye earlier on when swimming... so drowsy now..
Zzz..zZz.........zZz....z.z..zzzz..........z..........

Question of the Day:
how to hint parents that ur wallet r hungry n noe that it's fed?

Answer:
Leave it out in the open & when u see it suddenly appears somewhere beside where u placed and is bloated, it's fed well.

bwahahwahhaha..... now i'm duno equipped with how many dollars more.. thank god. if not i can forget abt eatin the whole day already...

am gonna go SWIMMING today!!! *squeals like a stupid kid*
splash splash!!

I FEEL LIKE STRANGLING WILFRED RIGHT NOW.....!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can't believe he off his stupid hp again and it's the for the THIRD TIME now!!!!!!!

GEEZ!

i wonder why his hse nid phones for..... i called his hp, it gets cut off.
i called his hse, panicking over the fact that his FOLKS might wake up
and be pissed end up no one picked up at all.
called his bro, no one pick up. check the comp and it's still on...
he's most prob havin his hp on silent too.
BAD HABIT THE TWO OF THEM.

next time he wanna nap and i let him and he ask me to wake him up,
HE BETTA SWITCH ON HIS STUPID ALARM CLOCK too!
it's so so so so frustrating to call n cannot reach him....
grr i feel like plucking all my freakin hair out right now....
*ARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH*

the next time he has me hearing him cut my calls off and when i call back and i hear voice mail again, i'm gonna go shave off all his hair, armpit hair, leg hair, pubic hair and every inch of hair he hav on his body and BLACK MAIL him.

so fuckin frustrated right now......!!!!!

@#%#$^^%(*$%)@#$%()^#$

Tuesday Stuff

What
kind of clothes should I be wearing? by Evelyn

went down to orchard with wilfred today.
we watched The Matrix Reloaded finally hahaha..

hmmmm cos fred woke up very early yesterday morning to go for his ns check up, so today we met up alittle later than usual. we met at about four o'clock in the afternoon... and it seems like i'm not the only one facing the problem with the screwy template. hm.. ok back to talk abt todae, i wore my new top todae and only problem was that my skin is peeling and it's alittle unsightly. *sigh* and worse off, i'm getting compulsive peeling hahahaha can't stop peeling my skin cos it's so irritating to see them peeling off frm my arm while i wore that singlet like top... MUZ PEEL! PEEL EM ALL OFF! RARGH! i had my lunch at orchard.. the yoshinoya meal and cos it was during their 'happy hour' i got the miso soup free too! hehehehe.... am feeling so hungry rite now cos i onli ate on meal todae.. am gonna cook something later... the computer graphics in the matrix is nice. story was slightly confusing but oh well when plot dun understand i usually juz concentrate on the fighting haha.... the scene on the highway was nice. BUT the sex scene was kinda sucky... hahaha

friday might not be havin that dinner with jeremy cos he said that he has something on... hmmm either i get someone else to go with us on friday or we have to rearrange another date with jeremy to go have dinner...

am gonna go swimming tml!! WhEe!

me n fred was sitting outside where the old popular was.. next to the citibank building, chatting away...
was askin him how i've changed since he first knew me...
and he was telling me all about the good changes i've had...
the bad ones...
the stuff that i've never changed... (bad ones too hahaha)
stuff to ponder abt..

alrite i go cook some food before i starve to death...

wanted to add wendy's blog link to my blog but fuckin blogger cocked up again.
i went to my template and end up getting the old version of my templates where all the dollies html codes and other stuff are still lingering around in there.. fucked up. duno wads wrong with it...

was spending quite some hours online searching for photos of yosuke kubozuka.


His profile

i've actually saw him in many other films before.... for example, IWGP, GTO, GO, and S.O.S
and the recent drama showin on SCV...
he also had other movies which i haven't got to watch such as ping pong, laundry,
thought he was really cute somehow and has character haha....
his pictures are hard to find online though.. decent ones i mean...
suddenly i look at my picture collection of japanese male artiste..
i realised those guys i tend to like have in some form of a weird attitude lolz. like either 'charismatic' man or 'bad ass' kind.
strange me.

[O]thers [g]uys [i] [L]ike!!!!


manabu oshio -- Lead from band, LIV


takao ohsawa -- actor. acted in Die Sterntaler with Noriko Sakai before.


inoran -- ex-guitarist of Luna Sea
now is guitarist of a new band called FAKE?


takashi kashiwabara -- actor.

i feel bored.
almost every single day.. i wonder why..

wilfred will be going ns soon...
in june...
and that sux...
big time.

friday i'll be goin with jere n fred to eat finish the $150 voucher. third trip there alreadi.
so paiseh

yifeng's bf will be sponsoring her on a trip to melbourne with him n his family... how nice..
cept the "n his family" part.... kinda freaky i feel...

wilfred's aslp now. or at least i hope so?
he has to wake up real early for some ns check up that's gonna last for four hours...
i'm missing him alot....
i feel as if the time passes by so damn fast everytime with him that i miss him so much once i get home....

time spent at home passes so slowly then...

I taste like Bread. I am a staple in almost everyone's diet. Friends like me are a complement to any other friends I get on with almost everyone, remaining mostly in the background, but providing substance when it would otherwise be lacking. What Flavour Are You?

suddenly thinking back about last term,
i'm overwhelmed by nostalgia.

i was chatting with masayu this noon before heading for my japanese class.
she was telling me about how stressful she have been about her results
and her project group members were not idea.
she referred them as slackers.
most of the projects were done by she and her friend alone.
although her grp members seems pretty power-packed
cos got all the popular ppl innit,
but i guess looks can be deceiving afterall huh?
according to her, Lester did not do his job even if she quarrelled or nagged at him.
Michelle as the group leader only gave negative comments and did editing.
sucha stressful group combination. tsk tsk.... i pity her sia..
spss was done by she and her friend alone too. dat's even more unreasonable.

she said she liked workin with me cos i have directions. *scratch head*
well, i'm flattered.
i asked if she approached her classmates for help and she said she did,
but they hardly helped.
i asked her why didn't she approach me for help.
she thought i was busy, so i told her to approach me from now on when she nids help.
she was depressed, stressed, and everything dat's negative for the past sem..
and it's frustrating after knowing all these...

thinking back about last semester,
i felt as if alot of things have happened.
it was a very enjoyable period of my life
and i shared discussions with not juz my own group members,
but with my fellow classmates, other group leaders and other friends in our course.

i remember the day when the group leaders crowd ard to discuss how to do the CC strategy
and i was able to voice my opinion and get recognition for my idea nd such a discussion
was very fun somehow...

i remember the day when Terry and i discussed about the project over the phone.
my shared trip with him and jeremy, my talkes with jeremy and shaikha,
the times i spent with shaikha editing the reports,
time we spent at wendy's house,
with Ann,
the dog....etc
such wonderful times. *beams*

thinking back about jeremy, it makes me smile. he is so damn dramatic and funny,
irritating at sometimes but he is still someone whom i share the same bus trip home with
and enjoyed his friendship.
getting to know more about people in depth is my greatest joy and blessing.
even the small chat i had with mr leng is treasured.
he was a gd listener, gd teacher and i enjoyed his classes.
seeing him bicker is also very funny.
jere and him is alwaaaaays bickering non stop and jeremy's tongue is juz so wcked.
and u get to see the mad look frm mr leng.
hahaha..
i am blessed with gd teachers like mr siow, mr leng and also mrs wu....

i'm glad to be able to know ppl not jus superficically and msn/icq have definitely been a great help.
peeps like shaikha, patricia... and surprisingly, for this year i have retreived a lost friendship.
kept in contact with tootie,
cleared misunderstandings with seng
and not forgetting sano who is alwaiz jus there to listen to my woes.

Mizoe is a very interesting girl.
her behaviour, the way she talks is all so unique n special. =)
suddenly i felt stupid having previously said that no one cared... hmm... haha oh well....

juz now when i had my japanese class, the dictation was a killer. so fast the fella talk in the tape
and we're supposed to fill in the blanks of the text with the respective katagana, hiragana and kanji.
*stressed*

had some issues comin up.
cried like mad woman.
now am suffering frm split headaches and swollen eyes.
called back fred to talk abt it...... thank god we resolved it and now we're talkin baby language again. -____-"
*ONE BIG SIGH*

boy ger relationship is sucha headache sometimes.... fred behaved as if he had split personality juz now.
suddenly the way he talk to me changed so much it freaked me out.
that's sorta the cause for our row but well, it's over for now..

have to go to japanese class with mad puffy eyes..... how sia...
later can't read wad the teacher write.... grr..

oh yes btw, i transferred the photos of fred and I from Yahoo to PhotoFun.
the rest of the photos are still in Yahoo! so u guys can still go back there to check out photos.
two new pics have been recently added for my collection of haiz members.... hmmm...

*scratch hand*

one and a half year sure is a long time.
still can't imagine that me n fred have been together for so long.
i'm still actin like a baby.
yifeng once said that only when u passed the one and a half year test, then are you able to say that u're relationship is stable and strong.

hmm.....

i juz got to know jere, shai n wendy's result so far..... they've all passed.
i havent got to know Ann's result yet though cos she was workin earlier on...
am glad jeremy passed and had totally no nid for supp papers..
i was wondering wad the grades of our projects could be cos we weren't allowed to know...
*stupid system*
so my idea, is that it's most prob a B grade for most of them, not so sure about CC but i got an A for that subject overall.
why i tot it was B is that since project's grade takes up omost 50% or more of the grades, if our courseworks are about average B, then we would need either an A or B to get back B for an overall.... all else would most prob drag the grades dwn or somefink.....
hmmmm......
*scratch head*

my skin hurts... especially my chin cos i accidentally peeled some off and it's kinda not supposed to be peeled so now i am wincing frm the pain comin frm my chin.... urgh.... irky feelings all over... i reckon the sunburns shld be getting better startin frm tml... or somefink lidat. *i hope?*

hm... was surprised when i got both my hp rang alert for sms.
was wondering which idiot msg me twice but realised that, that was not the case.
one was wilfred tellin me he's awake and i could go over anytime i want.

the other?

my results.

am i supposed to be surprised? yeah i ought to be but somehow i'm so calm n not bouncing i don't know why.
mebbe cos i juz woke up and is still blur.
hmm..
i'm not particularly satisfied with my results.
sorta didn't achieve wad i want.
one grateful thing is i did pass and not get any C.
guess that's good enuff...

My Results
Communication Skills 2: B
Technologies of Management: B
Customer Communication: A
Customer Relationship Management: B
Client Based Project 1: B

ok that's it. one A and three B... i was expecting more A for stuff like the client based one and crm but oh well.... nvm.....
i passed.
and i shld be glad and enjoy my day with that.
*smiles*

huisan, my classmate had a dist, two A and two B....
i was like "wah..."
i had that kinda results last year....
how i wish i had that again..

am i just some lonesome creature?
why am i just so afraid of being alone?
loneliness is such irritating thing sometimes.
i can't understand my thought right now... my mind is like a whirlpool....
i am feelin confused.... sadness.... anger... all at one time....
i want to hang up my phone on him...
slam it..
say i don't wanna hear your voice tonite even if it's to spite him.....
but i can't.

it won't help anyway.
and it'll end up makin us quarrel.
he seemed so heck care sometimes...
easily tired and distracted nowadays..
somehow... not being able to understand why, it freaks me out.
i fear something yet i don't know what it is...
i am trying to be supportive about him havin company at home....
havin friends over is fine
infact i was happy cos i couldn't accompany him..
yet... he seem to forget abt me....
he don't call, dun sms, he hardly contact me to ask me how am i at least....
sometimes what we want is just to know what we're somewhere in ur mind and not totally casted aside...
yet it's so hard to get them to understand that sometimes..

i'm so confused.... sad... PAINED by both emotion and my stupid sun burn definitely is makin things worse...
mebbe i'm juz being emotional..
u may say i'm pmsing....
wadever the case.
i don't really care.
why must it alwaiz be after my pain, after my emotions then do i get him to understand that i needed him then.
then he'll regret
and say he's there for me....
but he missed it.
he wasn't there.
not when i wanted him to...

juz bathed finish and my skin ard the shoulder and back area have this ultra sensitive n pain feeling. *sob sob*

anyway, here's another cute cute icon...


i'm so broke. haiz..................... wonder when's the next time i can go shopping hahahaha..
even my mum was laughin at me say i suay how come of all days, yesterday when i went sentosa was the hottest. =_____="

i didn't go over to wilfred's hse today cos my back very pain. so right now sano is over at wilfred's place accompanying him and watching tv and might be stayin over at fred's condo tonite. cos i think they wanna watch the late nite soccer or something. haiz.

DAY OFF!!!!!

juz realised how suay i am. yesterday was the hottest in five years havin a temp at 35.9 degree celcius!!!! RARGHHHHHHHHH
i'm still burnt and in pain.
*yelps*

I AM SUN BURNT LIKE F***! RARGH! SO BURNT! SO RED! i'm like a lobster of somefink!!!!

my BACK is havin this searing like sensation and it burns like fire and my shoulders r worse. GEEZ.. dat's wad happened to me after i returned home from the trip to sentosa. first we met up at 10 at tiong bahru mrt stn where i went into 7-11 to buy four bottles of 1.5 litres mineral water where the goondu crew keyed SIX instead and charged me at $9.60... i went back to ask him again and he refunded me three bucks. then yeong sing came and i hadda carry the heavy load of water to the opposite bus stop while huimin and jia xin was late for about half n hour or so..... then when the 'princesses' finally reached we took the shuttle bus down to sentosa.... hm i realised that fred's hse can take 195 go tiong bahru n frm my hse i could've taken 16. it's one straight bus trip! okok then we board the bus which so luckily was empty enuff for us to choose our seats where we landed out butts on the back seats. and all was well and cooling. can't imagine the previous traumatic shitified trip dwn to sentosa i had during the countdwn. THAT, was ultimate horror. imagine sooooooo mani ppl in a bus and me n fred was stuck IN FRONT. shoot! alrite back to the topic. we alighted and bought tix for the monotrail. it's abt erm... three bucks per head. we took the monotrail dwn to parawan beach where during the journey the ride was terribly bumby and unenjoyable. wonder why sentosa management don't actually do something about it. all the spots we pass by non caught my interest at all. yucks. the other three ladies were yakkin away, well some topics i joined in and some i juz drifted away cos they were sorta refering to past memories where i hav no idea wad they're talkin abt. dun get me wrong, i ain't sulkin nor am i angry. i juz tend to drift off when topics either dun interest me or i dun get it. lolz. happened lotsa times before during our sec sch years where they would be talkin abt computer stuff and i'll be totally clueless and drifting off. i was a computer idiot then and computers didnt interest me much. or rather, they were too fast for me so i eventually gave up catching up lolz`.

shucks my shoulders hurts!

alrite erm we were at the beach putting out our mat and stuff and then while seng and jia xin went to change, me n hui min waited at the mat chatting away. when they got back the two of us went and change into our swimsuit and pants. i borrowed my mum's boxer like pants and apparently i took the wrong colour and matched a blue swimsuit with brown boxers ending up lookin like some dumbass lolz`

we soaked in the water for quite long and me n huimin swam to this huge float but got so damn tired after getting up there... at first only me n jia xin n huimin up there... then i forgot how but yeong sing came along and got up too. but soon jia xin said she wanna blow her nose *roll eyes* and swam back and so huimin swam back with her. so end up a blind me *w/o specs* and yeong sing *duno how to swim* got stranded on the float for blardi long. n i do mean veeery long! i guess dats where i got my sun burn. -___-

anyway finally huimin swam over and so the three of us swam back to shore.... after like SOOOOOO LONG... and then erm.... oh yes we dipped ourself nearer to shore this time until we finally went back up shore to makan sandiwich. *i think* we ate and then they started applying sun block again and we played frisbee for quite awhile. wah kao my aiming damn lousy somehow hahaha cos first time play frisbee lah.. then tired liao they went back to swim i think? sorry my memory abit lousy. there were quite a bunch of other ppl ard us playing and then when they went back i went to the loo and after that i realised... erm my monthly unexpected came so i decided to call it quits and go bathe. the rest of them were still soakin themselves in the water for hours and hours so i juz sat there on the mat lookin ard at the crowd nearby and the peacock like birds that came over to my side bobbing their head up n down. ~_~

FINALLY when the three ladies decides to get off the water they took very long to bathe too hahahaha anyway after we bathed we went to take the monorail back to the front and erm... wad did we do? or yah we sat at one of the benches infront of Anderson Ice Cream and ate the rest of our sandwiches. i was kinda energetic and bouncy still so i went over to the BK there to get a cup of coke and guess wad? Joseph is there!!! my ex-manager haha... but he abit busy so we only managed a small chat. argh my shoulder feel like as if the skin is cracking... i hate this... am not going back sun tanning again unless i bring along a whole tub of sunblock. the skin feels so sensitive right now!!! grr.....

we bought ice cream and went over to watch the musical fountain. can't remember ever watchin it but it was really nice. the new one of course with that laser and monkey... quite a spectacular performance and then after all these, we decided to go home since it's already about eight plus.... we took the shuttle back to tiong bahru where i took 195 down to queenstown to look for wilfred haha... he helped me apply ice on my back as i lie down cos the pain was excruciating at one point. i don't know why but i missed him alot today. really alot so i kept msging him while i was alone at the mat. was so happy to see him juz now.

now i'm at home and i juz ate chunky beef and potato stew. cos i was havin diarrhoea since morning and went to the loo for about 6 times already i took the medication for stopping diarrhoea but i had it with an empty stomach so i guessed it caused some bad reaction havin me feel groggy and pukish and sick. i called fred up a few times but terry called him so he couldn't talk to me yet. i was groggy n sick but couldn't get much help so i went n cook the can soup but mebbe cos i wasn't paying attention the cap flew and i cut my finger big time. it sliced into my fingers i have no idea how deep cos the moment it sliced in, it flew off and i was yelping. it didn't hurt but was shockin so i rushed and got some tissue and applied lotsa pressure to the wound. called fred with one free hand and asked him wad to do. followed his instructions n soon the bleeding stopped. it was quite a deep cut. i put handiplast over and continued cookin the food after that. lolz strangely enuff i hate cuts but is not afraid of pain. except sun burns and paper cuts of course. those are wat i consider, irritating pains. i'd rather get bruises. hmmmm mum applied the hazeline snow moisturising cream for my burns... haiz...

woooooohooooooooooo i'm mad! it's 8.44am and i'm up!
I am........going to sentosa todae! with some of ma frenz and i hav tummy ache! how great. grrrrrr.....
if i'm gonna get my monthly unexpected which i think my fellow ladies species shld recognize, i think i'll go nuts.
I WANNA SWIM!!!!
and of ALL things to be shown on tv which i expect to be Anime, they are showing VIP. sheesh....
alritey. will be back to tell u more about the sentosa trip. juz hope that i dun fall aslp before anithing else AND dun get sun burnt! ok now.. tata!

WOOO! Muh sims became the most prestige role in the neighbourhood hahahahahaha Mayor of Sims City... geez..... i muz be damn bored to make it get up there...

Mayor Sim Photo

Straits Times Asia
To those who dismiss depression as an imaginary illness, he has this to say: 'It's not a choice we make to be unhappy and to make everyone else unhappy. What we need is support and understanding from people around us.'

Read Article

Lian He Wan Bao
The first infected patient of SARS came from China, Fuoshan. He is a committee member of a particular village/town/wadever and after five months of treatment and recuperation he have recovered. The guy is 1.68metres in height, fat, surnamed Pang and 42 years of age. According to the villagers, Pang have gone to a friend's house to eat cat meat and soon contracted the weird disease. Fuoshan's doctor were helpless over this strange case, thus engaging specialists from guang zhou. People who have admitted him into the hospital soon suffered similar symptoms of the disease, which includes also the doctors that have treated Pang. Though members of the WHO have tried sending personnels to reach Pang for questioning, their requests has been turned down by the latter. Pang was ashamed after knowing that he was the one who have triggered this world crisis, causing deaths of many others.


Persephone.
You bear an opinion of your own and do not like
being under constrains.
Who you are in the Matrix.
brought to you by Quizilla

iman came over to fix the comp today. i woke up at 11 and iman was supposed to come at 12 but then she sorta woke up late so she reached only at about 1pm or so... we were discussing about how she could come over to my hse and wad bus stop she should stop at cos she lives somewhere near enuos which is near my place too. she has a bad habit of switching off her hp cos she says the battery runs flat very fast haha. could hardly contact her.

we took like ages to have to comp fixed, like...... 3 hours? hahaha while iman reinstalled the windows and then dl kazaa lite for me cos she said that the kazaa have lotsa spywares n bugs n wadever which she referred to as "evil thingy" and so she downloaded some spyware remover thingy and she installed the ad muncher too to sorta get rid of pop up ads. whee! she's really fast with the using of keyboards and omost can say dun nid mouse except for reaching to links hahaha.. i helped her braid her hair while waiting for the windows to load and then wilfred came awhile later. dat stupid boi didn't like barley so i couldn't give him a bowl of what my mum made. now my comp seems pretty fine *cross finger* and i was able to shut dwn properly juz now. well, i was told that i hadda sorta reinstall window sometimes cos it gets old and buggy and stuff lidat and after fixing the comp and serving barley my mum cooked for them, we left for parkway.

i got ticked by mum cos she scold say how come she cook so much barley end up never eat. *shucks*

when we went to parkway, we walked reeaaaaaaally long. i got back at 8pm! lolz we walked into shoe shops, watson, starbucks, and i introduced them to eat at Whata A Fish. The food there is nice and cheap meals were at only $4.70 cos i ordered the student set so it's erm. $3.50? i had the fish cheese and fred had the zing burger. tasted weird and spicy so i prefered mine more. iman had the teriyaki salmon which she said was nice but couldn't finish so fred had to help her finish it up. then we went into the pet shop for a very long time. hahaha those doggies there are soooo cute!!!!!!! sho small!!!!! got jack russell, got cockel spaniel, got pomeranian, got.....erm... i forgot wads the name but it's cute n black n tiny and there's hammie that's sooooo cute, bunnies that's sooooooo cute and even chinchilla!! it cost $650 man! but it's now at half price. we even walked around lookin at fishes. we went to lotsa places like the edo sushi and fairprice at where the old library was. the fairprice is two levels high! iman bought peach pudding, yogurt and a drink. hmmmm then we sat outside and drank and ate the stuff before going off into some shop that sells computer stuff. nothing much though it's darn big. it seems like sucha long day and as if we walked so blardi long hahaha but it was nice. had fun and never knew parkway had so much for us to explore haha

previously when we were in the watson hee me n iman secretly painted her nails with the nail polish there which were not meant for use then the fella came over n walked passed us. gave me heart attack hahaha... i bought the nail polish though cos it's pretty! hahah shall put it on wednesday. iman has lotsa strange noises lolz she like to make strange exclaimations once in awhile and when she puts "lots" or "pat pat something something", she does literally say them out hahaha but cute.

i took a pic of her with my webcam but i'm not puttin it up cos she'll kill me hahaha XP

THIS IS SO CUTE!

n i hav more of these cuties so if u wan tell me k?

Gee..... juz heard frm patricia about wad happened to one of our business school lecturer. He's alwayz wearing a bow tie. strange but unique lolz.
Read Article : Boom! There goes my terrace house

went walkin ard with wilfred today at orchard. was walkin ard in search for the spaghetti top of U2, trying to see perhaps they might offer better colours at other outlets but they don't. so disappointing. then walked ard level one of far east initially when we left his hse before heading to the duty free mall, galleria. feel like as if we're walkin thro some museum hahaha i think i'll be getting one of the merlion figurines for ms rieru. think she haven't been to sg before... we walked to wisma basement the supermart or wadever to get a drink n some sushi before heading to taka.

i went into ms selfeige and found this very nice top. sorta like a fish net singlet with another singlet within of army prints. $43.... i think i'll wait till singapore sale or something hahaha...

before headin to wil's hse me n mum went shoppin at parkway n i bought my swimsuit frm ESPIRIT. $49. sorta discounted... actual was $79... there was this... erm.. piece of matchin cloth they were sellin that is used to wrap ard the waist for women who wanna hide their ugly thighs. lols but expensive..



hmmmm tml iman (mizoe) will be comin over to fix my comp and wilfred will be comin too but later in the day. then i'll bring em over to parkway to eat the fish fast food i went with mum last time before heading to IKEA with iman cos she wanna get a present.

did i say my friend frm japan sent presents over?

hello kitty board
hello kitty pouch
hp accessory
pencil and beads
smilie hankie
wanco hankie

TODAE....IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FREAKIN HOTTTTTTTTTT N HUMID!!!
OMG OMG OMG!
SO HOT!
I FEEL LIKE I'M IN SAUNA!

besides my japanese class i hardly need to wear my jacket. i'm juz so hot n sticky and even though i'm wearing a spaghetti strap i'm still so warm imagine if i wore anithing else i think i evaporate oredi.

btw something farnie happened during class today.

sensei: "anata no wasurarenai no ryukou ha doko he itta desuka? ryukou de nani wo shimashitaka?"
(where is ur unforgettable vacation destination? What did u do during the vacation?)
atashi: "etto.... watashi ha ryukou he ikukoto ga arimasen..."
(erm..... i haven't gone on a vacation before)
sensei: *stunned expression* "HONTOU!! AA... HONTOU DESUKA?"
(really!! ah... for real?)
atashi: "er.... un." *nod head*
(er... yeah)
sensei: "sou....sou...imakara ne imakara.... sa- shinkon ryukou ha doko ikitai desuka?"
(ic...ic.... frm now on yeah... then- where do u want to go for ur honeymoon?)
atashi: "HUH?"
-whole class laugh-
atashi: "mada kangaeru ne..." *stressed*
(haven't consider yah..)

alritey. that's it hahhaha

hmmm i've received an invitation from yeong sing to go sentosa this wednesday. as usual she's still paranoid about me bring wilfred along. *sigh* guess they nid time to get the idea that I WON'T LAH!!! *koff koff* anyway, let's hope things goes well and i don't get heatstroke. can't trust the weather man...suddenly so hot....

I name it Squares. haha drew this while i was with bryan.



juz got home not too long ago... treat bryan makan KFC buddy meal in the afternoon end up at nite guma bought us KFC again!!!! *argh* then we two sian half lolz` after eating onli i felt like shitting. had some bad stomachache. it was so damn hot in the hse man kept sweating so much. aiyah most of u mite hav known that me n bryan v close so juz now as usual kacauing each other lah then at one point i so lazy i plopped my ass on the flr next to his chair back facing the fan then he was poking my nails then lazy put dwn so in a sense can consider hold hand in another sense i duno wad u call it but fred got jealous wahahaha mad boi.
"cannot hold hand!!!"
"it's juz not right!"
"....like...like incest lidat....."

*pengz*

Got so bored and decided to rearrange the links of frenz blogs in alphabetical order... boring day.. feel like sleeping somehow bleahhhh... mizoe shld be comin over on monday to fix ma comp but i havent' quite set up a time with her yet. did i say i managed to shut dwn my comp properly juz before i left the hse? lolz at least something gd happened to me today. now am at my couz's place being a tyrant and hogging their computer. they have two now!! and one with a LCD screen.. shushh... mebbe i'll kidnap the screen home later hiakz hiakz.. haiz haiz........................................

BORING!

hm... ran out of things to say and think. was playing some stupid games online frm ODN and popcap and my couz(s) were lookin over curiously n laughin away. hmm.. i miss my dear. shucks. and spent $12.10 treating bryan to a buddy meal over at KFC... ok i'm startin to blabber cos i'm real bored and hav nothing to do and feel like sleeping. wad could be worse off? i were at fred's hm i'll plop my fat ass on the bed and ZzZZz.z......z... for the next few hours hahahaha....

he ask me how come i draw myself (the doll) until so pretty. Grrrrrrrr.... *hidden meaning sensed*

i'm so bored... so bored.....so bored... lalalalala..... oh yes, i finally finished knitting the pouch for wilfred and it looks crappy but fred say he'll like it anyway. mebbe i shld take up knitting classes... my knitting really sux somehow... mebbe i'll get to learn how to knit up a sweater or something WITHOUT HOLES or something like that... dat would be real neat.. shaikha's birthday's comin soon n i hav no idea wad to get her.. cham liao..

*thump* suddenly i have a pair of eyes behind me staring at the comp and biting me and resting his head on ma shoulder. none other but the stinky bryan NYAHAHAHA
I JUZ GOT PINCHED. i'm still bored. rargh.. off i go to rott.........

My sims became a senator!! LoL

Senator Sim

am gonna be meetin up with bryan later in a couple more hours.. will most prob be treating him lunch haha... let's see how the day goes later. will blog soon *wink*

my latest work hee!

hopefully my comp shuts dwn properly tonite which i doubt so though.

went to parkway with mum today since i didn't go n find fred. mum tot we quarrelled lolz. anyway parkway's getting more n more crowded lately, guess whoever made those changes had his idea successfully proven. bought a spaghetti strap top, black, frm U2 costing me abt $16....? yeah and then we bought a tub to put in the bathing rm for $10. tml or rather, later i'll be going to guma's hse primarily to find bryan. usually i find it pointless to go there if he isn't there. he promised to get there asap. hm me n mum went to this fish related fast food restaurant since i remember jeremy saying that it's nice so although i hate fish i gave it a shot. turn out the food there is pretty tasty and most importantly, cheap. $4.70 of a medium coke, fish burger n some fries. yum yum!! we bought some butter cabbage home where i mixed it with some salad sauce to eat.

was chatting online with mizoe abt my comp. think i'll most prob ask her over on monday to fix it. she's the computer doctor lolz and i was chatting with sano about some stuff too. besides that, nothing much was done today. shaikha n maha came over to my hse dwnstairs awhile to take the negatives frm me. she was going to east coast when she smsed me. she got back her hp line!!! hahaha previously her mum cut her line and she was so damn pissed off. i wonder why her mum did such a thing....... hmm.. while on the phone tellin me she's comin over to my blk dwnstairs, i could hear maha shouting my name in the background. crazy fella. then he even tried to use the digital camera to take photo. $@#%#$%$%^ oh well................. I MISS MY DEAR DEAR! *sulks* he's asleep now cos he didn't sleep till 8am the previous day. went over to terry hse to watch tv. alritey i stink so i'm gonna take a bath now n sleep soon.

waaaaaaaaaaaa i added this tracker in my webbie to see who comes to my |:::Manga Shrine:::| and unbelievable!

I get 10 ppl using Unknown domains
3 ppl using .net/Network
3 ppl using .jp/Japan
1 ppl using .ar/Argentina O_O!!!!!!!!
1 ppl using .com/US Commercial
1 ppl using .idIndonesia
1 ppl using .se/Sweden O_O!!!!!!
1 ppl using .fr/France

wah!

yep. my pc is givin me attitude again. for nearly counting up to ten times in a row i tried to shut dwn my computer and at first, it restarted but that's fine. then for the subsequent attempts to shut dwn my comp, it appears with orange n black stripes across my screen. my comp is screwed up man. mizoe, i think i mite ask u over to save my computer soon.... so sick of it rarghhhh...

This is definitely bad news. Now i have to start worrying about going out again.

A break out of suspected sars case in IMH. To be exact, about 1642 ppl were moved to isolation. 32 ppl dwn with fever.
For more details, read article.

can u believe it!? i can't believe it myself!! i'm actually knitting here.. KNITTING!! ME!? HAHAHA i muz be going nuts pretty soon..... hav been sitting here for the past few hours juz knitting away. suddenly feel like knitting and wanted to knit a pouch for someone. was wondering who the 'someone' shld be at first.. tot about wilfred but can't think of any use of him then i tot about shaikha.. mebbe she nid something to put her money n stuff till fred tells me he wants it. geez.... wad a surprise. now my fingers r kinda tired and numb frm knitting. happens all the time when i knit too long or do terigami too long. wun be going to fred hse tml cos he's over at terry's place tonite till morn so i wan him to hav more rest. as for friday, ain't gonna go find fred too. will be going to my aunt's hse to look for bryan (my dear cousin). he smsed me suddenly saying he was angry over some stuff and i hadda help him kill the fire lolz! nice chatting up with cousins like that. ^____^

hmmmm am bored stiff. wanna get something to bite bite but it's so late oredi and i'm not hungry. guess wot? i ate onli ONE meal today! (wednesday) and i'm not hungry still. something muz be wrong with my stomach. i think nowadays i'm void frm alittle emotion. usually i would cry when i'm sad. now i juz keep quiet. am pissed with fred over something and would usually feel emo n cry or somefink but today and yesterday. i kept silent. couldn't cry or rather didn't allow myself to. when u dun think, u dun care, when u dun care, u dun feel, and when u dun feel, u wun cry. fred say i'm beating to wrong course but who cares. i get too mani heartbreaks and at the rate i cry, i think my tear duct will dry up soon. am gonna be strong like before.

Noon - You are pleasant, friendly, and an overall
nice person. You enjoy the energy and activity
of the daytime, and tend to be very productive.
When are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


You're a Daisy! Go ahead, celebrate. Happy,
funny and intellegent, you like to just be
around your "buds". And most likely,
they like to be around you.
Which Flower are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

For Tanya:

juz in case u cock eye never see ur comments in ur ujournal, i copy n paste the comment here again lolz.

i'll write this in my blog too incase u don't see it here lolz. i've alwaiz treated u as a gd fren, will continue to do so and i've never ever blamed u. not even till the slightest bit. bcos i understand exactly wad ur dilemma is. remember the times when u sorta got ignored alil during secondary sch? i too was stuck in such a dilemma. i did talk to u still yet it's tough getting the others to agree with hanging out with u. over petty reason ppl once in awhile get subjected out of a grp but hopefully, one fine day we'll be like before. ^__^ knowing wad u r i am never afraid of losing ur frenship. i dun mind u telling me faults. at least i know abt them. now am trying to gain back wad i've lost. mebbe...hmm.. u mite not realise or mebbe u did but among the 5 of us, i click best with u, next is seng. somehow huimin is alrite but i can't keep up with her cos of the way we think n talk. maly juz ain't very englishy. as for jia xin, she does get abit of fiery temper but i find it hardest to clique with her. as in personally and emotionally. i tried to talk to her once in awhile but can't quite interact very deeply. i managed to chat up with ah seng lately. things seems to be b getting back to wad it was before. cos i managed to clear some misunderstanding with her. she said that she didn't ask me along most of the outings cos she afraid i'll bring fred along. i've grown past that and OF COURSE i won't lolz but nvm. i'll take things once step at a time. gd frens r hard to come by and i wun juz let go. not w/o a fight. hehehehe MALY WILL ALWAIZ KACAU U DUN WORRIE. *muacks n hugs tootie*

-maly-

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
Category	Your Score	Average
Self-Lovin'	78.3% Never taken out of the packaging	62.8%
Shamelessness	97.6% Has yet to see self in mirror	77.8%
Sex Drive	100%	76%
Straightness	46.4% Done the nasty, but not creatively	41.9%
Gayness	100%	80.8%
Fucking Sick	98.2% Refreshingly normal	88.7%
You are 85.42% pure Average Score: 70.6%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test and see how you match up!

I hate it whenever I have phantom feelings around my shoulders or back of my hips or edgy feelings basically.
They irritate the shit outta me. I'm getting them more and more often these few weeks and I just hate it.
I'm so tired and bored most of the time, spending my time either at Wil's hse or at home facing the computer.
I tot I had no life during school days. Now it seems worse.
As usual I have no social life. No one's asking me out. That shows how "unpopular" I am somehow...
With all my effort and crap I've been through to set up that personal blog for me and fred,
can't believe he can't make an effort to make it a habit to at least post something in once in awhile.
I can't bear to scrap it but it gets saddening seeing it neglected.

Sometimes I wonder why I exist.
I feel so alone sometimes, if not for my folks and fred and some online activities such as chatting up online,
I don't think anyone would miss me much.
Had I disappeared one day and not inform anyone about it,
I wonder if anyone would ever miss me and try to contact me.
I wonder if anyone would realise I'm gone in the first place. Mebbe a couple out there will miss me.
But I wonder how long it would last. Even if I bore my heart out now in this blog, about how I feel, about how alone I am,
no one will contact me.
My social life will not improve and I'll still be alone.
I'm not someone who will go straight up to a person to ask to hang out,
nor will I ask to tag along with someone where most of the people I do not know off.
I will only feel out of place if I do something like that.
Those that matters to me, I will not name who, fails to realise (or mebbe I juz wasn't aware that they did),
how much I need them.

The fact that I talk to them,
the fact that I bother to keep in contact with them every once in awhile,
the fact that I msg them online to chat up with them
and the fact that I did on some occasions, asked simply if they wanna go out.
It already implied how much I wanted to be with them.

Although more than often, such attempts fail or someone gets busy and no matter how disappointed I am,
I have to take it with an easy stride and say that it's alrite and I'm ok.
I was once told that once a person steps into becoming twenty odd, their social life increases,
but somehow I can't forsee that. *sigh* mebbe not yet...

whilst the cooked beans are fueled by the beanstalks
the beanstalks weeps within the cauldron
for they have derived from the same root
why torment without doubt?

sorta watched a drama and got reminded of this poem made by a man named Cao Zhi. 3rd son of Cao Cao. A historical figure. those who watches canto drama shld know wad i'm talkin abt. but anyhow, this poem WAS written by a real person. His brother Cao Pi, the emperor wants to kill Cao Zhi in order to remove a thorn from his flesh. Cao Zhi has always been known of his benevolence and literary skills. under three conditions the emperor ordered his brother to create a poem or he shall face a death sentence. 1st condition, he shall create a poem about brotherhood. 2nd condition, he shall create a poem without mentioning the word "brothers". 3rd condition, he shall have to create a poem within 7 strides. Cao Zhi's poem puts his brother to shame who in the end sets him free. I knew about this poem long before this drama on some educational programme. Never got the chance to fully understand the poem nor recite it correctly. Btw, the english translation is by me. There are too many version out there in the web so I juz simply translate myself. What Cao Zhi wants to say was that while one man's ambitions is fueled by the existence of another, and thus the other is put to torment and pain while weeping in vain. Both have come from the same root, be it brothers, kins or fellow countrymen, thus why does this one man's ambitions allow him to torment or hate the others so deep and want to remove them?

Monday Stuff
hmmmm fred say me ke lian ger. cos .... number one. i hav a swollen tonsil or so to speak. u noe that dangling meat juz before our throat? yeah that's where i hav something swollen. like a lump or something. mum bought some cooling drink for me to "cooool dwn".. secondly, cos fred went to use the comp and left me alone in the room so i sulked and sat behind the room there stoning. then he came over and gave me the aiyoyoyoyo... look and ask me angry ijit and then sayang me! hehehehehe..
sulking works sometimes. shh dun tell him.

tml alex will be going over to his hse with another fren to "suntan" at about eleven plus in the morning lolz. wander how my dear gonna pull himself out of his bed to go dwnstairs to fetch them. also know bout two horrifying things today. one was that someone either dropped or jumped frm the condo fred's living in. ain't sure if it's in the same block or wadever and when i came there were no commotion cos it happened in the morning and i reached about late afternoon. freaky. now fred's mum don't dare to clean the windows. scared drop dwn n die. somehow some structures of the condo is alittle stupid. especially the windows. terribly hard to clean the outside panel of the windows without havin the risk of falling off cos there's not block or something and fred's mum is half drunk most of the time and seeing her lean way over the window grill juz to clean the panels can put ur heart to a stop for minutes. and everything especially when she's drunk she'll babble abt die die loh lidat bla bla bla yak yak and then fred will be kneeling n begging her to get off or be careful etc... *sigh* my poor dear. oh yes and the second freaky thing is wad i read frm the pprs. about this 7 or 8 year old boi in malacca that got abused by his mum's bf while not doing anithing abt it. poor kid. can't imagine how emotionally void some parents can be. and we alwaiz kinda thought parents love their kids somehow or another. in some cases, it seems like they don't at all. *sigh again*

life seems pretty dull of late. mebbe it's juz cos i'm broke and can't buy things lolz. and also, i've juz received an email from ms rieru, a japanese fren of mine who sent me yet another present from japan. now i'm headaching on wad to send to her cos i feel paiseh havin her shower me with gifts. lolz

Your fate has been decided....

You are one of the lucky ones! Because of your virtue and beliefs, you have escaped eternal punishment. You are sent to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!

First Level of Hell - Limbo
Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

was busy helping pat with her blog. changed some fonts, added some colours and arranged her friend's blog links into a drop box menu with the guidance of sano with some of the html codes. had probs making it work at first but it did and somehow a sense of achievement and reliefs rushes through me. lolz. twit finally replied her emails to me today. sucha long one too.

juz added a calendar to my blog. gotta manually change it every month but nvm. something to remind me of dates that perhaps mite not be considered as impt dates lolz. if u guys wanna know wad i had on certain dates, juz put the mouse over the bold fonts in the calendar to view the screen tip messages of my tasks for that day. thanks to iman's great help and sano to retreive the source and sort it out to customize for my blog.

today was quite boring lah altho it's supposed to be mothers day. woke up at 4pm and found no one home. end up today wil didn't go out with terry cos the latter's mum wants to celebrate mothers day. sian. end up we both stayed home. dad told mum he's blood boil until wan to puke blood cos i refuse to go bathe. he was fussing over me going to bathe cos he found my temperature to be 37.3 and panicked and ask me to go bathe n cool dwn or wadever and i was busy doing the calendar. he asked me FIVE times in a row to go bathe n it was darn irritating.

i wonder wad's wrong with my blog. cos even as a broadband user myself it takes me ages to hav my blog to load. i seriously doubt it's juz the pictures. mebbe it's virus... *ponders*....nah! can't be. aniway juz in case u haven't noticed, i removed most of the dolls and have onli two now. kinda got bored of em already.

u can call me electric eyes wahahaha cos according to wilfred i zapped him today. strangely i was juz sitting dwn, lookin at him. hahaha alritey. the today i am referring to is Saturday alrite? i kinda blogged alittle late today cos i got home only at about 12:30am. mum called me on the phone while i was at wil's hse telling me she n my dad were at the tanjong pagar some ktv wahahaha.... lomatic hor!? hehhehehe tml fred will be goin out with terry. sianz... and i'll be at home bored stiff. but aniwae tml is mother's dae lah so better stay home be guai ger. hahahaha pui. hmmmmmm seems like i hav nothing much to blog sial today and oh yes, while havin dinner @ the table with wil, his dad, bro n mum *stressed*, fred's dad kept taking alot of the side dishes to put into my bowl and then cos i abit picky and dun like to eat prawn and the two big scoops he give me all GOT prawn waaaaaah i feel like so sian hahahahaha so when he went to the kitchen i hurry pick up all the prawn throw into wil's plate kekekkek XP

Today is Wilfred and My relationship's One Year and a half Annivasary!!!

today was pretty much a shitty dull day for me. did nothing much but developing the photos when i got up and then slacked most of my day off my couch with nuttin but ma tv. mum got home soon after with a packet of rice. nuts, eggs and i can't remember wad's the third ingredient. got sick of sitting at home not knowing what's wil doing out with mizoe for so long cos he haven't called, i msged him. he spent 7 or more hours out with her today. i shld be fine but i'm not. i'm worried sick. blame it on paranoia while i would prefer to blame it on some past incidents. went over to hav some dinner with ma folks at joo chiat where the food pretty much sucked altho it weren't too bad. i juz didn't feel too gd eating them. had bbq stingray that was tasting fine but got sick of it after awhile. wanton noodles took ages to come and my dad growled at the woman twice before i had my noodles. the onli thing that pretty much tasted rite were the chicken wings. such a pathetic place. mebbe i'm being melodramatic but i'm not sure. i'm juz pretty dwn. everything's makin me dwn somehow. took a long time scanning the pictures that didn't turn out as gd as i wanted em to be cos it was kinda too dark but anyway, it out. So here's where the picture for my BBQ lies. stumbled into a blog of some unknown girl named Alex. a blog which i tot was unique and much desired by me to have own something lidat but i haven't got the knowledge of page building so, gotta juz fuck scrap the idea. suddenly i'm tempted to make my blog in shades of gray and juz chuck all the pictures of dolls.

guess the onli thing worth being happy about was being able to chat up with seng like old times. somehow it seemed as though some misunderstandings have been lifted and i no longer get the cold and hostile replies. mum snatched the photos for me to see before i could scanned em. i did not intend to show her actually cos fred's pix iz innit. dad wanted to hav a look at em durin the nite while i was not noticing until i sneaked an excuse about puttin em into an album first but did not bother to show him again later. the last thing i want, is to hav him find about abt my r/s and poke his freakin nose in.

i found this very nice website with nice downloads for sims. the items here are very very original and i made one of my sim family like a total dumpster hahahah
Click Here

alritey now be prepared to spend quite sometime here reading this blog cos it's gonna be a tediously long entry filled with juicy details lolz
Jeremy's hair by the end of the day was hilarious. all standing then look like ah pek hahahahaha....

ok basically those who went to the bbq were, Me, Jeremy, Fred, Shaikha, Terry, YK, Mike, Maha, Aidil and Yifeng. Those who couldn't come was Patricia and Mark. *sigh* Mark was havin his dance class and pat had a tummy ache or something lidat...

ok from the very start i'll kinda tell u all wad we did. Jere and Shai were supposed to meet up at 12:30pm at the eunos mrt station so dat jeremy can bring her over. YK couldn't make it to come help out. Basically, the two of em were supposed to be at my place at about 1pm in the afternoon to help poke the chicken wings and stuff. BUT, they didn't come on time. in fact, they were late for 50 minutes. =__="

hmmm, or rather it was shaikha who was late hahahaha she sorta missed her stop by two and had to back track and so on and so forth and you know, our princess can't walk much and started complaining being hungry etc etc and end up they got 50 minutes late. lolz when i called up jere to ask where they were and joked that i wait till my hair turn white already, he joked back n said that HE waited for shaikha till his balls turn black LOLZ

went they reached, we started poking the chicken wings with the satay sticks and hahahha some of them weren't straight and confirm is i poke one. can't blame me lah! first time poke chicken wing. when we finally poke finish 40 chicken wing, me n jeremy washed hands and relac in the living rm for awhile before going dwnstairs to the coffee shop to makan. i didn't eat lah but jere ordered the prawn noodle he ordered the day before and the uncle actually remembers all the thing he dun wan or want to hav in his noodles leh! mebbe the uncle has a thing for him.... *smirk* MUAHAHAHA.... poor jeremy.. shaikha had mee rebus and took damn long to eat lolz complained about it being spicy and hot. first malay i know to NOT lilke to eat spicy. kinda strange.

we made some arrangements on the with yk about wat time to come and where to meet and stuff lidat then went back up to my hse to get the stuff to go dwn to queenstown. we took a cab dwn and it cost about $10 to be exact. we joked abt in the cab and i caught the driver laughing quietly a few times hahaha

we all finally reached the back gate of fred's condo but cos i forgot to call him to come dwn while we were on the cab so i walked over to the gate and tried to get the security guard to open the gate for us. stupid woman end up askin us to walk all the way to the front gate to take our temperature cos of SARS. $@#%$^$% my temperature was about 36.6 degree and jeremy's was 37.1. hahaha guard ask him y so high.

we went upstairs to put out things while jeremy was squealing non-stop about how nice the pool and the condo was. my goodness he very drama u noe!? we carried all the stuff up to fred's hse and while the rest of em head back to the rm, i sorta stayed behind in the kitchen to help out fred's mum. am not givin her chances to scold us in anyway. alwayz better to take initiative! hehez... i transfered the chicken wings to another box so dat it can fit into the fridge and washed the tub my dad gave me, washed the cock tail bowl, etc. finally when i'm done i went into the rm to join the rest and chatted for awhile. the guys chatted amongst themselves while shai n i spend sometime in fred's rm checkin out his rm. after awhile we went to anchorpoint the cold storage to buy the rest of the products ONLI to find out how sux cold storage is cos half the time i can't find wad i want. can't fine the marshmallows i want, can't get decent ice, can't find alot of thing lah!!! *burns dwn cold storage* sian sia!!! when we buy finish we go out and i bought kodak films to use later. hehehe I TOOK MANI PICTURES! *wiggles* things in cold storage is so freakin expensive and lucky me to hav spotted an ice box at caltex and we got ice at a reasonable price and amounts far better than that of cold storage. mike called while we were walkin halfway so i let the guys bring the stuff up while me n shaikha went to fetch mike at the bus stop. that stupid boi called me so mani times and i was tryin hard to hang up n call him back cos i using starhub line but everytime i dial halfway he call back. he brought his guitar along and also a present!! hahaha that silly boi tot i was my bday oh dear... ahahha bought a cup with cute bears on it.

while we were walkin halfway into the condo, terry called!!! ARGH.. mean i muz go back n fetch him hahaha so i told mike n shai how to get upstairs before headin to the back gate to fetch terry. he brought the satays!! when we got upstairs i had to put the satays into the fridge before joinin the guys and when i entered the rm they were laughin away, watchin some man u vcd fred was showing them. when it was nearing 6pm, we went dwn to start the bbq. we had to pack everything to go dwn and while lookin for the stuff in the fridge i banged my head. wah kao damn pain u noe!? i was seeing stars already.... my head throbbin wif pain hahahaha and i told mike and he ask me to tilt my head up. when we got dwnstairs, and while the guys were trying to start the fire, me, shaikha n sano was pokin the crab sticks and hotdogs. terry helped too. the sweet potato turned bad so we throw away. fred's mum made agar agar but onli brought it dwn later and we sorta lost the cap so she fussed about it as usual. fire started alittle while me n jere were fanning it so i used the tuppleware cover to fan and the fire blazed. the chicken wings took ages to cook and satay was even worse!!! yifeng came late. while yifeng and i was cookin the chicken wing, yifeng was buttering the chicken like mad, saying that she's having "compulsive buttering"... the group joked and laugh about alot of stuff and it was very funny and the atmosphere was good. e.g me being lana n fred being clarke and how he shld call me n terry even ask me to dye my hair black again.....said fred was mosquito, ask how he make the love bite so huge lolz, then joked about the maize... on how to use it for sex =_=" then made fun of mike about his song that was available for dl due to some pranks hahaha

fred, jere n terry talked alot... terry cracked alot of stupid joke while jere was very dramatic.. took a couple of photos dat were pretty hilarious... i'll post it when the photos are developed. terry was makin fun of me so i chased him around the condo but couldn't catch up cos of my stupid slipper. i had to send yifeng out earlier cos she has a curfew and sano went back even earlier cos it was his mum's birthday. we sat around to listen to mike play the guitar while the guys kept jokin, sayin that he looks like ah beng. previously when we were bbq the food the guys were trying not to stand there too long cos they say it's bad for the sperms hahaha mike's reallie gd with the guitar.. then me n him tried to sing some songs tho i sux at remembering lyrics.

the guys went swimming and all the guys jumped into the pool. fred had to lend shorts to all of the guys hahahaha i was very very tempted to join them so i decided to juz jump into the pool with my clothes but fred sorta dun let and that upsetted me quite alot... i was very angry n sad cos i couldn't join in the fun and was left out of it. didnt feel too good and mike tried to ask me to smile when he walked passed me. jere came over to talk to me.. trying to partly console me and also ask me to understand wilfred cos afterall i'm a girl and it's not too gd if i were to jump into the pool lidat with a bunch of guys.

i felt that this bbq although mebbe cos some such as sano was pretty quiet cos they didn't know each other well
but yifeng was fine and the rest of us managed to bond well and infact i feel that somehow after the bbq n the swimming all of our frenship became stronger. i really enjoyed the day alot n i enjoyed the grp totally. had not talked much to maha before but today things n went well...broke the ice... when wilfred went back up, i went back dwn to help collect back the towels n shorts frm the guys cos they were bathing. me n shai went into the bathin rm outside while the guys showered in the cubicle hahahaha then terry nearly came out naked not knowing i was there so we got chased out. LOL took some candid snapshots... even saw terry drying his underwear!!!! hahahah i walked up to yk n jere askin "song boh~!" they replied "song~!" hahahah the guys said they had fun.

and i was surprised wad maha did cos he joked n say had fun tonite and did some stupid action by thrusting his hips back n forth so i chased and wanted to kick him. terry also kacau so i also chase haha irritating sia they two. i went upstairs after they all left. they were takin cab if i'm not wrong. i juz glad that the bbq turned out fine and everyone enjoyed it cos more than often some ppl get left out or ppl form they own grps and dun interact totally. i kinda feel a sense of acheivement wahahahha!! was still mad at wil when i got upstairs and ignored him all the way tho he kept saying sorry but i went to bathe first. i ignored him the whole time but soon talked over and things went fine... i had insomia sleepin over at fred's hse i duno y but onli when fred suddenly kicked me in the middle of the nite then did i realise i did not slp well. it was already 7am in the mornin... i told fred i didn't slp much and he hurriedly shoved me into the bed and had me hug the bolster. hehehe i fell aslp after that. tuesday we watched xmen2!!! but then i realised fred didn't slp after he woke up at 7am!!! geez! i was so damn worried. anyway, XMEN2 was fantastic.. the computer graphics were much nicer than the previous and this time we get to see more of the characters and all the different powers. so cool man! u guys shld definitely go catch that movie.

wahhaa guess wad? now i even hav a apple imac or wadever-u-call-it computer for my sims. Check them out here lolz
Sims imac
Sims imac backview

i'll blog about the details of the bbq later when i get home mebbe tml or something cos there's juz so much to type.

much as i know i've lost some friends but i juz can't help but feel a pang of pain and a sense of being left out when i saw in a frenz blog that they went out to watch a movie. used to be five of urs doing such things. now, my name is no longer in the list. if i were to say that it's fine with me then i'm lying big time cos i do still want to get back with them in some way or another. just not sure how. talkin on the phone and chatting up is juz not a habit of mine and if i do, of which i did chat up with a couple of them lately, i somehow dun get back in anymore. can't help but feeling emotional and can't help but having a few tears fallin down my cheek.

once again i think, was it my fault? mebbe it is.. but was it that bad? i don't know...

i could tell myself that perhaps one of them do know that i'm on bbq and wun be back till weds so no pt askin me but then again, i wouild be damn optimisstic to think like that. *sigh*

my social circle is shrinking very badly and i am juz not the kind of person who would call someone up n chat for a few hours straight. either i'm damn close with you, or i'm insane. cos i'll juz blank out if i call up any random fella to chat. if were able to juz chat up with ppl, perhaps i would hav more frenz and perhaps i would gotten back wat i've lost but it's juz kinda tough for me and end up getting worse results in havin the other party uninterested in talkin to me. hearing cold or hostile voices on the other side of a phone frm wad was a fren before is torturing.

this is freakin hilarious

wah kao didn't know estella had a blog till i checked out my own website and spotted her work of art in my guestbk hahahahaha i was happily sms-ing wilson and surprised over the fact that we could sms and he was cheery enuff to reply and chat. oh yes, in case u didn't know who he was, he was my ex-crush. the one and only guy whom i was head over heels for 10 months before confessing to him and my heart nearly popped out everything i'm with him, near him, tokin to him, lookin at him, or even thinkin of him wahahahahaha.... sadly he didn't like me lah so we stay as frenz... *psst, fred got jealous b4 cos of him* WAHAHAHHA.... eh at least he was the onli guy who made me keep my eyes to him alone for 10mths!!! wahahahah usually i dun mind having like..... 7 CRUSHES at a shot or somefink lidat wahahah... ok i'm cranky cos it's so late i think i betta go slp soon cos jere they all are comin over to poke the chicken wings..... rargh.. oh hm i think i missed out somefink here...... OH YES... i was invited to join a webring for a chobits webring.. cool! hehehe

Am lookin forward to the barbeque tomorrow hehehehe..... WOO! will be stayin over at wilfred's place till wednesday so if any of you guys are trying to contact me, PLS DO NOT call my hse. kinda told my mum i am going to chalet again wahahaha

i went to parkway giants with jeremy today. mum tagged along for awhile then she left for her "swimming".. lolz onli hand movements though. alrite alrite in case u didn't get me, she went to play mahjong. me n jere had abit trouble trying to find the honey cos we walked back n forth thro the shelves trying to look for honey and when we wanna buy potato we also walked back n forth to look for it and end up not being able to find it. so we bought sweet potato instead. hahaha.. the total amount spent was much lesser than i was expected and when i got the bill i was damn surprised. hahaha onli $35++ hahaha i tot it would be about 60 plus instead.... oh well.... the stuff was heavy man... thank god jeremy with me hahaha two of us brought the stuff back to my hse for my dad to marinate with some sauce i duno wad oso.... he called up my aunt to ask cos she makes gd chicken wings wahaha.. i juz mentioned saying that i told my mum that i'm going to a chalet rite? cos we were lookin for chilli sauce and mum was saying something like we could buy it over at the chalet in a questioning way and jeremy was quite stunned hahaha wondering y she say chalet UNTIL i turned n face him and gave him some "signals" wahahaha.....

gonna meet up with em at 1 tomorrow to poke the chicken wings and bring the stuff over lah basically... HOPE EVERYTHING GOES WELL!

Thought of the Day:

gonna watch XMEN2!!!! hee can't wait. i was watching xmen on channel 5 just now. looks pretty neat but watchin it at home about no kick hahaha and fred's very anticipated about watching matrix reloaded....

oh yes and one more thing, hey guys, juz for note taking, i now have TWO handphone lines and both is actively in use alrite? pls dun get mistaken. and also i cocked up with the number i previously send damnz..... muz massive re-send back hahahaha waste muh sms.. *sobz*

Hee i believe some of you haven't seen this two new dollies i made. i must say it was a great improvement since the last blinkies i made. finally know how to convert properly into gif and i'm really really glad.

Thought of the Day:

HEHEHEHE...
had a alrite day with wilfred. was havin japanese class earlier on and sorta made some new frenz. a guy name Ben and a girl name May or something like that. both is older of course. we sorta had to interact amongst ourselves to discuss some questions posted by the teachers... i tot i could skip handing in my composition but apparently the teacher remembers. damn hahahaha...

i brought the colour phone out and added alot of numbers in. both mine and wilfred's so dat when we exchange phone we hav all the number inside. using this phone was pretty alrite except we can't quite msg very fast and also, the phone bk is abit tricky. can't save to sim or copy frm sim properly either. sucha headache.

wilfred kept eyeing my hp today. hahahaha cos it's a colour hp and also one of he's fav model. *sigh* i'm still headaching how to use two phones with two damn phone lines. madness... tml still mus go to parkway with my mum to get the food for the BBQ.. so early mush wake up... *cries*

*wiggles about* can't wait for the day of the bbq!!! hee so excited duno y... mebbe cos first time plan bbq. hahahaha bit sua koo lidat... i was wearing wilfred's pants today. the black 3 quarter pants he alwaiz wear. damn oversized hahaha and i was jumping all over the place. he say i look cute wahaha

You are a true nature girl!
Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

ahhhhh bored day.
hahahahahaha really tickled by how dead bored i look on the phone. geez. i need a life man. btw, mum bought me a new colour phone and wad's more? she signed up for a starhub line. @_@ now i hav two hp lines duno for wad. the new hp is sony ericsson, T68i. can't say i totally love it but i'm getting more accustomed to it now. onli prob is i'm still wondering if i shld cancel the singtel line but i'm so damn attached to the old line. fuck man. if onli she've gotten me a nokia phone wahahha..

my new hp...